Secrets & Trust Issues
by HappyNaruto
Summary: Light says he loves L and L says he loves Light. But both of them have their secrets they refuse to tell eachother. Light had already told L about him being Kira. But one of them still has a dirty little secret they're keeping. A romcom full of trust issues&secrets
1. Chapter 1

_**Dear when you close your eyes,**_

_**Don't think about our goodbyes. **_

_**Dear when you close your eyes,**_

_**Don't think about all the lies. **_

_**Dear when you close your eyes,**_

_**Keep all the happy times in mind. **_

Chapter 1 (The Beginning)

Silence crept into every corner of the room. L sat in his usual position, a sugar cube dropping from inbetween his fingers.

"You what?" He asked, his eyes wide and fingertips sticky.

Light stood at the other end of the room. His eyes were tightly shut and fists were balled.

"I love you, Ryuzaki. I always have... I can't lie to you anymore. Yes... I am Kira. You've known that since the beginning, haven't you? You are very wise for someone of your age."

After Light's Kira and love confession, L stood up and slid his hands into the pockets of his blue jeans.

Questions and casual thoughts wizzed through L's 24 year old mind.

'Is he up to something?'

'So.. I was right, hmm?'

'He really loves me?'

'Can I trust him?'

"Ryuzaki?" Light interupted L's thoughts. His eyes were now wide open, tears brewing and a few rolling over the bottoms of his eye lids, "Are you okay?"

L nodded and took a few steps closer to Light, finally making up his mind. His bare feet stuck then unstuck from the marble flooring of his office. The computers made weird computer noises and the ticking of the clock echoed back and forth. No-one else was in the room apart from Kira and the 'enemy'.

Lawliett stopped moving his legs when he stood only centimeters away from Light's red face.

"Tell me, Light Yagami, can I trust you?"

Yagami hesitated, his brain ticking away at the same pace as the clock. He nodded.

"Hmm... Ok. Then, also, tell me why you chose to keep the Kira secret hidden away from me until now?" L raised his thick, black eyebrow above the left eye.

"Because I wanted to find out who you were, Ryuzaki. You were just a detective to me back then but when I met you... I felt something complete different to how I expected. A mixture of admiration, astonishment and nervousness. As time went by, I got to know you a lot better. I'm happy I was given that opportunity. Weeks went by and my feelings towards you grew a lot. Right until they couldn't get any more stronger. You would be on my mind all day every day. I grew to love you and I'm glad I did. I couldn't of fallen in love with a better person." Light explained, the words rolling off his tongue like a sweet,sugary goodness to L.

The detective's blood had risen to his cheeks as he pulled his fingers out of one of his pockets. He used them to brush away the tears that had fallen to Light's chin and smiled in a kind-of-creepy-but-more-cute way.

"Slow down, Light-kun, slow down. You're speaking too fast."

A small giggled released itself from Light's red lips. They parted a little.

L noticed the departure of Light's lips and sighed ever so quietly before making his decision. He leaned in and pressed his own lips against the others, the pressure building as Light held the side of L's head, his fingers intertwining with the detective's long,black,messy hair.

Time stopped. All that mattered for the two was the kiss. Their first kiss with eachother. Both of their dreams finally coming true.

Light pulled away, breathless. They both caught their breath back before looking at eachother.

"Light... I am 99.9% sure I love you too" L smiled again.

Light laughed a little again and asked, "why only 99.9%?"

"Because you're Kira, remember?" His smile had turned into a cheeky smirk as he turned round and sat back on his spinny, black chair, his knees almost touching his chin.

"Haha. You've got a point. But, hey, Ryuzaki, can I ask you something very very important?" Light sat down on one of the chairs next to L.

The other nodded.

Light grabbed a piece of paper from the side and wrote something on it. After being passed the note, L read it carefully:

Dear Ryuzaki,

Will you be my boyfriend?

Please sign here: _

Love,

Light xxx

Yagami smirked as L's cheeks turned a cute shade of red. L snatched the pen from Light and immediately signed on the line, putting a few kisses at the end. He handed it back to Light, the blush getting redder and redder.

Light leaned in and kissed L again, a little kiss this time, less touchy-touchy. He pulled away and slowly started sliding the piece of paper in his pocket.

"No," L interupted, taking the paper away from his grip, "that's got my signiture on it. We have to burn it." L pulled open the draw nearest to his chair and brought out a box of matches. He lit one and held it over his signiture, watching burned bits of the paper float to the ground. L looked through the hole he just created and winked at Light. He brung it down to the table and wrote "Of course!xxx" under Light's handwriting before handing it back to Yagami.

"No-one gets my signiture... Not even you."

They laughed for a bit.

A/N: This is basically just an intro to a new story I'm going to be writing along side my other one. I will not write any more than three stories at a time; I just won't be able to keep updating them all. But, for now, I'll stick with just the two.

Expect good things for this story. I've got good things planned for it. XD yay!


	2. Chapter 2 (Suspicious Begin)

_**When you leave me tonight,**_

_**I won't cry or sigh,**_

_**I'll look up at the sky,**_

_**And whisper my final goodbyes. **_

Chapter 2 (Suspicions begin)

Light lifted his tired head off of the pillow and yawned, stretching his arms in all directions. Faint noises of water splashing on the floor echoed throughout the room L and Light were sharing. Their handcuffs were on the floor.

"Ryuzaki?" Light slipped his legs out from under the covers and slid his feet across the ground towards the shower. He rubbed his wrist, trying to get used to not having a heavy metal braclet hanging from it, and called out to his love again.

"Ryuzaki? Is that you?"

L stepped out of the shower, his back to Light, and grabbed a towel, wrapping it tightly around his waist. He turned around.

"Yes, Light-kun?"

Light smirked at Ryuzaki's bare skin.

"Oh... Nothing" He span round on his heels and began to walk back to the bed.

_Click_

Light span back around and stared at his wrist, the metal braclet now back in its place. L smiled a cute cheeky smile.

"What? I already told you I'm Kira!"

"Yeah... But..." L blushed, "...I don't want to leave your side..." He moved his index finger to his mouth and began nibbling nervously.

Light leaned in and kissed L's forehead, "me neither.." His lips curved into a smile.

L jumped into Light's arms and squeezed at his body, the brunette returning the hug.

L was sitting in front of his computer screen (as usual) when Light began tugging on the chain keeping them together.

"Light-kun if you continue to do that then I'm afraid I'll have to kick your face until it bleeds" L continued staring blankly at the computer screen, clicking every now and then. Light dropped the chain and sat staring at the other's pale,skinny head, "what?"

The detective looked at his love and narrowed his eyebrows.

"I was joking"

Light nervously laughed and looked up at the ceiling, trying to avoid eye conatct. They sat in silence for a while. The sound of Light's ringtone broke it.

"Hey? Yeah. Yeah. Ok. Maybe. Okaaaaay. Alright. Yeah, I will be. Where? Oh, okay then. Yup. See you there. Yeah, me too"

Light slid his phone into his pocket and tugged on the chain again.

"Hey, Ryuzaki, can I go out for a few hours?" He tried to sound sweet and innocent.

L hesitated for a moment. He lifted his thumb and began nibbling at the loose skin on the side of it.

'Why? With who? When will you be back? Don't be gone long. Will you be safe?'

He could of asked all of the questions he was thinking of but decided on a different plan.

"Yeah, sure. When?" L span round on his chair to face Light.

"Now..." A nervous Light replied.

L unlocked both of their sides to the chain and pulled Light closer to him by the sleve, giving him one last sloppy kiss and sending him away.

He sighed and sat back in his spinny chair. His suspicions started rising.

Ten long minutes later, L was standing by the door of the office and heading down stairs and out. The clouds were grey and a cold breeze danced along L's pale,untouched skin. He headed down the pathway, past the trees and the benches, past the children's park, along the bridge and towards the bus stop where Light was standing.

Misa ran up to Light and wrapped her arms around his neck. Her finger tips scraped against her arms as she tightened her grip. Light placed his hands on her waist and moved her back a bit.

"Misa I can't breath"

She stepped back, put her knees together and smiled.

"Oh oh sorry Light. I've missed you!" She squealed.

Light nodded, "Yeah. Misa I need to tell you something and it's very important you listen veeery carefully"

"I'm all ears!" Her voice seemed squeakier and louder to Light.

"But..." the brunette leaned closer to Misa and stared at her, the tips of their noses touching, "not here. Somewhere more... private"

Misa's cheeks were now red as Light continued to stare into her tired eyes. Her lips twitched.

'Come on Misa dont be a chicken. He's your boyfriend. He wont mind, will he?'

She took a deep breath before crushing her lips against Lights.

Hiding behind the closest tree to the bus stop, L barely stood staring at the couple.

"Light-kun..." he whispered, his heart breaking bit by bit.

He put his hand against the tree and closed his eyes, the bark piercing his cold finger tips. Birds sang happily in the green leaves above him. L looked up at them with shiny eyes. Tears were teasingly hanging on the bottom of his eyes, threatening to fall with every blink.

He turned around and headed home.

Light grabbed Misa's shoulders and pushed her back, his eyes wide with horror. He ran a finger down his slightly swollen lips.

"This is what we need to talk about, Misa"

Misa's eyes narrowed.

"What?"

Light sighed and closed his eyes. He folded his arms across his chest and squeezed at the skin.

"Misa, it's over. I've found someone else, okay? So don't come back to HQ or anyway near me"

She stepped back.

"What?!" Warm tears filled up in her eyes.

"Let me explain" He walked over to the bench next to the nearest tree to the bus stop and sat, Misa sitting next to him.

"I've always been in love with someone else but always been too frightened to tell them. I finally did tell them and they feel the same way! Oh God Misa, you don't realise how much I really love hi- them. They make me happy, unlike you."

Light knew this would break her. But, it was the truth. He was tired with all the lies. Telling the truth was going to be a thing now. No more lies.

"Who?!" Misa shouted through the tears, standing up. "Who is this girl you're in love with?!"

The brunette lightly laughed to himself, "there is no girl I'm in love with"

Her hands were shaking now. Her heart was breaking.

"What do you mean?!"

He laughed louder, "I what I mean is: I'm not in love with a girl"

Light stood and began walking back to his flat. He missed L.

"It's him, isn't it?!"

He stopped.

"Him! That Ryuzaki! It's him!"

Light continued to walk and raised his arm, waving goodbye to his ex, "bye Misa"

_**Authors Note: **_

Hey. It's short, i know but i wanted it to be short. So yeah. Hope you enjoyed :)


	3. Chapter 3

_I love you so much,_

_When I see you with her I break,_

_I love you so much,_

_I don't know how much more of this I can take. _

Light walked into HQ and ran behind L's seat, wrapping his cold arms around L's tiny body. L turned around and smiled. He didn't want to say he knew what happened. He didn't want to know what happened after their kiss.

Light leaned in and pressed their lips together. L didn't kiss back, knowing full well Light had just been smooching Misa. The brunette pulled away and narrowed them thick brown eyebrows of his.

"Ryuzaki? Are you okay?" He placed one of his hands on L's cheek, tilting his head slightly to the left.

L looked deep into Light's eyes, trying to find any hint of guilt. When he could find nothing, his heart broke just that little bit more. Ryuzaki sighed and smiled. "I'm fine, Light-kun. I've missed you!" He leaned in and rubbed his nose against Lights.

"I've missed you more," the younger one replied. He walked around and sat on his chair. L stared at his computer, wishing the tears wouldn't tease him like they were. He moved his hand down to Lights. "Don't ever leave me... Please," he tightened his grip.

LxL

L span round in his chair, his long,black hair whipping the side of his face, and slid a lemon fizzy in between his lips. He held it there and stared at Light with wide,worried eyes.

"What?" Light asked, slightly laughing. "What's so shocking?"

"I need to go..." L started, and looked to the floor, eyes still wide.

Light replayed what L had said ten times in his head.

_'Ryuzaki never goes anywhere...?'_

"...I need to go and..." he looked up at Light and stood up, sliding his hands into his baggy jean pockets. "...do something. I'll be back soon, though. See you, Light-kun" L leaned down and kissed Light on his forehead before spinning round on his heels and leaving HQ.

When the elevator doors pressed closed, Light stood up and rested his hands on the back of his head. _Where could Ryuzaki be going...? _

"Oh, for the love of God Light. Think!" Light practically shouted, hitting the mark L's lips were previously pressed against with the palm of his right hand. He let his palm rest there for a minute or two, leaning his weight onto one side, and sighed with his eyes closed.

_The sweet shop? No... He would've made me drive. Corner shop? No... He wouldn't do it alone. Grocery shopping? _

"Come on, you're being stupid now" he argued with himself. "Who would of known love is tricky, eh?"

LxL


	4. Chapter 4 (Misa's House Part I)

**_Trying to stay strong,_**

**_Trying to stay true,_**

**_Maybe singing this song,_**

**_Will teach me what to do._**

The young detective walked down the streets of Japan; the wind blowing his hair left to right and against his face. L's hands were firmly pushed into the pockets on his light blue jeans as he slouched down a bit more. The frosty breeze piercing at his skin until he finally reached his destination.

Sighing and preparing himself, Ryuzaki raises his fist, gently hitting it against Misa's door. He waited for a good two minutes. Just as he was about to give up and come back later, the blonde pulled open the door, her shoulder keeping her phone against her ear and the other lighting a candle. L found her current actions horribly peculiar but, pushing them thoughts to the side to worry about later, he carefully waved at the female.

"Hey, Misa," he said, knowing full well he would never say that if it wasn't for the current situation.

Misa pushed her eyebrows down, her confusion silently screaming out its existence, and made pretend kiss noises into the phone, promising to call her friend later and that she was busy.

That reminded L of Light and an immediate warm feeling danced happily in his heart. A picture of the brunette smiling standing proud in L's mind, he smiled to himself, causing even more confusion for Misa.

"What do you want?" The gothic female wrapped her fingers firmly around the incense candle and stared at L, the memory of earlier's conversation finally entering her mind. "I don't want you here"

L didn't think he'd get this far. He thought of all the possibilities that could go wrong that he persuaded himself he wouldn't even leave HQ. Now it was actually happening he didn't know what to do.

_Lawliett what are you doing? You're the first, second and third best detective in the world and you can't even think of what to say to a stupid teenage girl? _

Misa grew impatient. "Well?!"

"C-Can I come in?" He said, regretting it immediately. What if someone he knew saw? Even worse, what if Light saw?

_No. No, this is bad!_

Misa rubbed her temple between her fingers, deep in thought, before coming to her decision.

"Fine. Fine," she said and rolled her blue eyes. L pushed all his worries to the back of his mind and walked in, a slight smile creeping its way onto his pale, bony face. "This better be worth it."

Nodding, L walked to the front room and slid his bum onto a seat and sat in his usual position; feet on the chair, legs pushed up against his face, arms wrapped around them if there was no computer. Even with his worries gone, Light still played a big part in his thoughts.

Misa sat on the chair closest to the TV and stared at L waiting for him to say something. "Well?"

He snapped back to reality and looked at the teenage girl sitting to the left of him. "Huh?" This was the first time in years he's been this distracted by something that hasn't been to do with work. It confused him how much Light can affect his concentration even in times like these? He doubted anyone would understand!

With a sigh, Misa stood up. "I think I know why you're here and I don't wanna hear it! So, please could you do me a favor and leave?!"

It was L's turn to be confused. Another thing he hasn't been in years. What is she talking about? "N-No Misa-chan. Let me explain"

Misa squinted at L and returned to her seat, crossing one leg over the other. She sensed L's seriousness and panic.

_What could he be panicking about? He won! He's got MY Light!_

And with Misa finally calm, L began.

**Author's Note:** Let me know what you think? :3


	5. Misa's House Part 2

L stared at Misa. What was he going to say again? Something about... Erhmmm... Ahh! Right, Light! A short breathless laugh escaped his lips. _Right Light._

Misa sighed impatiently, "Speak or get the hell out of my house and away from me, Ryuzaki!" An immediate thought sprang to L's mind.

"I am now 70% su-" He stopped himself. Light had already confessed into being Kira, therefore it is not possible for Misa to also be Kira. But, wait, what about the second Kira? Light would of told him if Misa WAS the second Kira now they're together, right? But then again Light is a loyal person. Kind of.

L smacked his forehead. _Think! _

"Right," Misa stood up, grabbed L's lanky arm and pulled him out of the chair, his legs springing to action. "OUT!"

L stared at Misa, again, slightly afraid. He nodded as her grip loosened. On his way to the door he tried his best to control his thoughts.

_ .__**Why**__**do**__ .Can__**I**__ .Ishelyingabout__**love**__. __**Kira**__. . __**Help me. Someone, please help me.**_

Slowly stepping out of the house, L took baby steps. His head felt light, almost as if it could fall off with one sudden movement. He gripped the side of the door frame but he couldn't hold onto it forever, and he knew that so he let go.

"Ryuzaki?"

Misa was now calm. She sensed everything L was feeling. She knew he was confused and unable to control his thoughts. I mean, its pretty damn obvious! She placed a hand on his shoulder, causing him to spin round, his hair whacking the side of his face. Misa thought it looked painful but since L didn't even wince she didn't bother worrying for more than half a second. Why worry over something so small, so stupid anyway?

Ryuzaki didn't reply, just stared, so Misa continued. "What is it you came here to ask/tell/...whatever me?"

With a small, scary and cute smile L shook his head and explained how it didn't matter and it was only something to do for he was bored.

Oh, how fake smiles can fool a person so easily.

She nodded, smiling back, before returning to her home and dialing her friend's number. Fake smiles do not fool Misa Amane.

Light was worried. Very worried.

L had been gone for at least an hour now and a bad feeling in his gut kept screaming that he needed to 'save' his lover. _L can protect himself, right? _Light questioned over and over again.

But all his worries vanished as the one and only raven haired boy stepped out of the lift, as usual his head hung low and hands in his pockets. Light practically ran to him and enveloped his arms around the one he loves. "Are you okay? It feels like you've been gone forever!"

When L nodded, a waft of perfume flew up Light's nose. Why does L smell of perfume? _What the fuck?_

They exchanged smiles and hugged for a few more seconds before returning to their seats, both minds at work but not for the reasons most people would expect.

**Le Authors Note: **Sorry for such the late update. I went away on the day this chapter was supposed to be posted and I had no wifi then when I came back school started and blahblahblah. But I'm back on track now! New Chapter: **Friday 19th of September.**

Please please please go and check out my profile and vote for what story you guys want next!

Tell me what you think? :3


	6. Chapter 6 (Loving the Wrong Person)

**_Secrets&amp;Trust Issues - Chapter 6 - Loving the Wrong Person _**

**_._**

**_._**

**_._**

**_"I'm fine" I'll say_**

**_And you'll believe me._**

**_"I'm sad" I'll say_**

**_And you'll leave me._**

**_*6*_**

A happy Light tightened his grip on his lovers hand, pointing to the sweet shop on their left with the other. It's been about a week or two since the couple's suspicions had risen and, in all honesty, neither of them really care about it now. They're happy as they are, what's the point in worrying?

L's eyes lit up as the sweet shop came into view. His knees almost gave up on him he was so excited. He turned to look up at Light to see if he approved of going in there.

"Well I'm the one who pointed it out, wasn't I?" Light chuckled, not expecting the hard, passionate kiss L gave him only seconds after.

Ryuzaki parted his lips from the brunette's and began dragging him towards the shop, his heart bouncing around in his chest. The bell on top of the door _dinged _when they stepped into the empty-of-any-human-existence sweet shop. L's eyes scanned all of the multi-coloured sweetness, but mostly focused on his favourites. He let go of Light's hand and ran to the nearest rack, grabbing a bag a practically pouring all of the sweets he could find into it.

Light leaned against the door, arms folded, and watched his handsome insomniac boyfriend fangirl and obsess over guaranteed-diabetes-rectangles. He thought about bringing him here once a week as a treat and how the fuck he was going to pay for all this. But mostly of the first part.

Just as L was picking out his final sweets, Light's phone went off. He peeped his head over the stool he was currently at - on the other side of the shop to Light - and watched the one he loved speak to the mystery person.

L stared at Light on the phone, squinting.

_Who is he talking to?_

All the thoughts about sweets and rainbows etc had been washed away by the mystery person on the phone. Light was smiling, laughing even. Looking like he was having more fun on the phone than spending a few minutes in the sweet shop with L, his freaking boyfriend.

L thought this was over now. He thought all the apparent lies had been drained away dragging his suspicions along with. But no. Light decides to continue them.

"Prick..." L mutters, glaring.

Just as the word left his mouth, L stops. His sudden mood and use of language suprised him just as much as it is now, Reader.

After a few more minutes, Light slides his phone back into his pocket, still smiling, and shuffles his way towards his loved one.

"That was my day. Wanted to know how long I'd be"

L pouted. He still didn't believe him.

"Okay~"

**LxL**

**Authors Note: The chapters are getting shorter and later because I am losing interest in this story. I don't know why but I don't wanna write it anymore... Sigh. So I'll probably ditch it even though I promised myself I never would when I made this account. Oh well. To be honest, its up to you guys. I'll do whatever makes you guys happy. So let me know if you want me to continue it. But, if I do, please keep in mind that I will be focusing A LOT more on other stories and probably only update every few weeks or so (-chapters will be longer, I promise)**

**Anywho.**

**Yeah.**

**Baii.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Secrets &amp; Trust Issues - Chapter 7 - That Damn Bus Stop**

**Maybe if I stay a little longer,**

**I'll trust you.**

**Maybe if I stay a little longer,**

**I'll love you.**

L felt the same as he did yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that, and the week before that, and the month before that etc.

Bored

Suspicious

And, most of all, unfocused

However, it wasn't the same for Light. He was having mood swings like there was no tomorrow. Like he was female. And his sister constantly complaining that he wasn't spending enough time with her was /not/ helping. She has called him multiple times in one day every day and on the Sunday, as he was talking to L about the future and his phone rang, he flipped. He was screaming down the phone that she didn't own him and he was older now, an adult even, so he could do whatever he pleased. Lets just say by the time he hung up every one in England had to have been woken up.

Why was Light having such horrible mood swings? Why was his sister so annoying?

No-one in the world knew.

L began to to feel sorry for the stressed Light that lay beside him the Monday night after. He slowly averted his eyes from his laptop and watched as Light's eyebrows furrowed as the sound of typing left the room. "Ryuzaki? You okay?"

"Yeah... Why wouldn't I be, Light-kun?" L replied, biting away at his bottom lip. The day before he had googled what to do when a loved one was feeling down and stressed. Most of the websites he visited told him to comfort them in their time of need. How was L supposed to know when Light's 'time of need' was?

The brunette fluttered his eyes open, "Well, you've stopped typi- Why are you staring at me like that?" His face immediately reddened as his eyes met L's.

L pushed the table in front of him and let his chair with wheels drift to Light. When he got there he span the chair so he could face his lover and, after staring at each other's eyes for a little while, he gently placed his arms around Light's body and closed his eyes, feeling the comfort rush through him as he rubbed his head against the brunette's chest.

Light stared down at the top of L's head in confusion for a while. What had gotten into his raven? After a little while Light gave in to his boyfriend's warmth and squeezed him back, his own eyes closing as he rested his head on top of the raven's. A wave on guilt rushed through him, causing little beads of tears teasing him on his bottom eye lid. It was then Light vowed never to tell anyone of his mistakes and to never go there again. He vowed to stay by Ryuzaki's side until death, to forever hold him, to forever feel his warmth and kiss him every moment he could.

The older detective tried to hold it in. He tried to not cry with happiness or saddness, whatever he was feeling. But as soon as he felt the warm liquid of tears roll down his cheek and onto his brunette's shirt, nothing held him back. L sniffed and snuffled, squeezing Light tighter and tighter until he felt better. He felt bad. He was supposed to be here for Light, supposed to be mentally stable to help him through his "time of need", but every time he thought of said man he just felt overwhelmed with emotion and didn't know how to explain it. Was this love?

Ryuzaki soon looked up at Light, his eyes a puffy red, and smiled a little. A smile he would only use for Light. The brunette smiled back at his lover with a fast beating heart, his own face shiny with tears. In only less than two seconds, they both broke out into tears and laughter, each other's presences warming their hearts and bodies.

While chuckling, Light span L's chair around and lifted the raven off of it and onto his lap, L's legs hanging over the arm rests. Their laughter died down and they stared at each other, reading each other's faces.

And without realizing, Light said, "I love you, Ryuzaki" and pulled his lover closer to him and gently pressed their lips together.

"I love you too, Light Yagami"

* * *

**Author's Note: I bring good news, weebos! (is that how you spell it?) I'm actually enjoying writing this! Yahoooo! &amp; Could you please check out my profile and vote what story you want next? Thanks! xx**

**Review? :3**


	8. Chapter 8 (You what?)

**Josefin's Note:**** Hei dere. I'm sorry for the long gaps between chapters! But I'm getting better with them... Right? Ergh. Oh well. I wrote this because I needed to get something out there haha. Hopefully this will keep you all satisfied for now! Enjoy~**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**The higher I get,**

**the lower I sink.**

**I can't drown my demons;**

**they know how to swim.**

"M-My mum and sister want to meet you..."

Light's words rang around L's head like bells for seconds, maybe even minutes, after they left his mouth. He stopped typing and let his fingers hover just above the keys, holding his breath.

Yagami Light stood a few meters away from Ryuzaki, the handcuffs weighing his arm down. A shock of nerves shot down his back. Light had to bite down hard on his bottom lip to stop him from shaking. Yes, he'd done and said worse things in his life, but asking his lover if his family could meet him was a big, scary thing! Especially if your lover is the first, second and third best detectives in the world who never leaves the comfort of his chair unless for sweets or to kiss you!

L bit down gently on the side of his thumb. That action was becoming a bad habit of his, eating away at his own flesh! But as long as it helped him solve the unsolvable, he didn't mind eating himself.  
The older male put on his best smile and span around on the chair, the chains connecting him to Light swinging, trying to stop his shaking limbs. L squeezed his legs tighter to his chest and rested his head on his knees.

"Now, Light-kun. I'm sure you can see why that is a bad idea" At the sight of his love's disappointed face, L quickly shuffled the chair forward with his body to get closer to Light. "But that doesn't mean I'll think thoroughly about it!" He ended with an award winning smile and pat on the shoulder.

Light didn't know whether to feel disappointed or relieved. Yeah, it was great that there was a possibility he wouldn't have to go through the awkward silence of his mother and sister, but a part of him wanted to show L off, wanted to scream to the world how happy he was to call him his own, wanted people to shoot him daggers of jealousy in the street.  
The brunette rubbed his temple. What was he thinking? He knew that would be impossible at this current time, with the whole Kira investigation. And would L even be comfortable with it? He had no idea.

And so Light gave L a small, sweet smile and ran his fingers down his arm.

* * *

Yagami gently ran his fingers through his boyfriend's black locks, gently pulling at the untreated knots. L shivered at Light's touched but a small light shade of red refused to leave his cheeks.

And in that moment, L came to his decision.

"I'll meet them," He voiced suddenly.

And Light's belly flip flopped.

**Josefin's Second Note: Hi again! Just here to say could you please tell me what you think? And then possibly go to my profile to vote for the next story? Thank you! *many hearts***


	9. Chapter 9

**Josefin's Note: **** Hello! I completely forgot about this story! Like, completely! With everything with school and work and other time consuming events, this whole thing has just vanished from my mind! Ahh  
About this story... I'm not even that big of a Death Note fan anymore. I mean, I love the fandom and this ship still with all my heart, but I haven't read or seen Death Note again in over a year. I think I re-watched the first two or four episodes the other week with the intention of watching the whole thing, but life got in the fucking way. It's nearing the end of the school year (fuck yes) so I guess once summer is here I'll have more time! Actually! I could try and finish all current stories /by/ summer? Holy shit, yes. I must. Okay, fuck school, fuck life. I'm focusing on writing.**

**Warnings for this chapter - Extreme OOC-ness, (Idk why I wrote them like this, but I did. Deepest apologies.) Fluff (Ugu.), Swearing (:0)**

**Chasing shadows in the darkness**

**I've been lost for far too long**

**All alone**

**But now you're here to fill the spaces**

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"Could you pass the salt please, babe?" Light whispered out of habit, running his finger along L's thigh.  
The raven's knee shot up and whacked the bottom of the table, his cheeks and ears burning red. Sachiko (Light's mum) immediately jumped into action and was by L's shoulder in seconds, asking if he was okay over and over and insisting he put some ice on it.

Light chuckled lightly and smirked to himself. He carefully put down his silverware and fiddled with the edge of the napkin, thinking everything had planned out amazingly. However, when the brunette raised his head his attention snapped over to Sayu staring at him in horror. Her eyes were wide and silverware shaking in her hands. The tips of her ears were also a burning red and mouth wide open, showing the chewed up food.

When Sachiko had dragged 'Ryuzaki' to the kitchen to get something cold to calm his knee down and Souichiro had rushed off to the toilet while he could, Sayu coughed lightly to get her brother's attention. Immediately Light looked up, the worry clear on his face. "What is it, Sayu? Why were you looking at me like that?"  
With her eyes closed and cheeks painted pink, the Yagami sister felt so done with Light's shit.

"I heard what you said to him. Your _'friend'_" she said after a small sigh.

.

_**5 hours earlier**_

Light lay back on the couch, hands behind his head, and sighed. Every inch of him was dreading later on. He didn't know if he wanted L to meet his family, he didn't know if L wanted to meet his family. They just thought they were friends, work buddies.

_'Means no kissing or cuddling or even touching for three plus hours' _he sighed.

L sat on the floor with his back leaning against said couch. He longed to feel the softness and comfort of his bed, but while being attached to Light by metal chains that would be extremely hard. Speaking of said brunette, L grew more and more worried by the minutes. Every time the dinner with his parents was brought up, he'd get all tense and quiet and asfghjkl. Ryuzaki longed to know what was up with his love, but since he wasn't being told straight up his suspicions pierced his heart, stopping himself from wanted to know what was wrong.

_'How am I this great of a detective and I can't even tell what's bothering the one I love? I'm 200% done with myself'_

"Babe," Light began. He doesn't know when or how this whole 'babe' thing started, but it did. And he liked it, so he kept the habit. "Are you sure about tonight? It's fine if you don't want to go"

Lawliett rolled his eyes. "Light, enough with the mind games. I know you don't want to go for a strange, unknown reason, but I do. It's rare that you find LGBT+ accepting parents these days, so I want to... see what they're like?"

Light's eyes rose with panic. L was watching them carefully, waiting for some kind of reaction. And when he had gotten one he knew exactly what was up with his love.

"They don't know, do they?" The raven voiced with no emotion. On the outside he was staring at Light with a blank face (which was unusual these days considering Light made him feel a rollercoaster of emotions, too many for him to hide so he usually gave up trying), but on the inside he was bubbling with anger. Again, very unusual these days.

Light's eyes then went back to the sad brown they were earlier. He shook his head and looked down in shame.

L pursed his lips and brought down his eyebrows. He was trying to make it obvious he was angry now because he knew Light would be able to take it. He tugged the chain and stood up, then leaned down in front of Light. L held Light's chin with one hand and wagged his finger in front of the other's face.

Light's heart skipped not one beat, but several. He'd never seen L so angry before. Angry enough to actually approach him, anyway. He would occasionally slam a door but that's about as violent as his little fluff ball got.

"Light," L whispered, their faces centimeters apart. "I don't want you to keep things that are upsetting you from me again, understand?"

And with a small smile and less than a second for Light to answer, L pressed their lips together. Carefully he climbed on top of his love and curled up in his lap, never breaking away or opening his eyes.

When they did finally break away L smiled at Light out of breathe. The brunette took this as a chance to go again and, after a small smile in return, went straight in for another kiss. However, Ryuzaki gently placed his finger in the way and raised his eyebrows. "Am I clear?"

Light eagerly nods his head, hungry for more, and L removes his finger. The raven practically jumps on the younger one, ready for an intense make out session.

Light waited nervously by the door, his arm stretched out before him. They were just about to leave for the Yagami household when L decided he'd rather wear no tie. The brunette took a deep breath and leaned against the door support side thing. "C'mon! We'll be late!"

L then casually strolled out of the room he was in. He looked heavily uncomfortable squeezing his hands into the skinny jeans pockets, not used to the tightness. Light gently wrapped his arm around the raven when he was close enough and let him go through the door first.

L was sporting a brand new pair of black jeans and a crisp white shirt with the first few buttons undone. His hair was in its usual messy state, but still he felt uncomfortable.

Light closed and locked the door before sliding the keys into his trouser pocket. "Don't worry," he kissed the top of the detective's head. "We won't be long"

The walk to the household was long and full of awkward silence. It was a summers night so neither of them could fill the silence with complaints on the weather. It was beautiful, really. The lights from the bridge reflected gorgeously on the river beside them. Very romantic.

L was desperate to pull Light into a nice, long kiss. And when he realized they were just round the corner from Light's house, he did just that. The raven stopped walking, the wind blowing his hair onto his face, and Light also stopped a few steps ahead of him. "Why'd you stop?" The brunette asked, turning around.  
Ryuzaki stepped closer and held the sides of Light's face and quickly smashed their lips together. Light placed his hands on L's waist and enjoyed the kiss while it lasted. They both knew they had to act basically like strangers as soon as they stepped into the house. They didn't know what would happen if they came clean about their relationship, so they preferred if it stayed as work-friends until Light was old enough to move out.

After several more moments, L broke the kiss with cheeks a pretty shade of pink. As he dropped his hands by his sides, Light rose his hands and cupped L's warm cheek. "You're so cute when you do that"  
The raven pouted and glared at Light, only making himself look even more cute. Chuckling, Light kissed his forehead before gesturing towards the house. "Shall we?"

The walk to the door was even more awkward. When they finally reached it and Light knocked on the clean wood, L pulled his hand out of the brunette's and let it slide inside his pockets to stop them from shaking. Quickly, Light leaned down to L's ear and whispered, "It'll be okay. I love you"

And that's how Sachiko opened the door on L blushing like crazy and her son with a large smirk stretched out across his face.

After everyone was introduced to Ryuzaki and Sayu discovered herself feeling attracted to the man, they all sat down at the table, Sayu feeling disappointed she only got the seat opposite her new interest.  
L and Light immediately noticed his sister's behavior and exchanged small smiles. Light did, however, feel somewhat sorry for his sister. He knew she needed to stop developing a crush on Lawliett before it got messy, but knew leaving it for tonight wouldn't hurt. Throughout the whole dinner Light stayed teasingly close to L to piss his sister off. Every time he brushed his shoulder against the raven's, Sayu would tense and ears would burn. After maybe the third time L noticed what his love was doing and joined in by feeding Light his potatoes.

* * *

And that's how they ended up here; the Yagami sister both confused and fuming, Light worried and panicking she may snitch; L's bruised knee and the others completely oblivious.

When they all walked back into the dining room L quickly noticed Light and Sayu's change in character. He noticed the awkward glances at each other and soon realised he was also involved in whatever happened between the two. Of course, his mind whizzed through all possible happenings.  
1\. She guessed they were together and were threatening to tell the parents  
2\. She admitted her undying love for L less than two hours after meeting him  
3\. Light said or did something that has now fucked everything up and now she was suspicious

After the dessert, Sachiko clapped her hands together and put on a small smile. "Now, boys. It's really late so I do not want you going home until morning. It's dangerous outside, especially now Kira is being quiet. You never know when he could jump!"  
Light looked down at his empty plate and chuckled ever so slightly. L nudged his foot, holding in his own laugh.  
"And the guest room is full of shi- r-rubbish!"  
Sayu rolled her eyes. _Nice save, mom.  
_"So, you can either go heads and tails like ten year olds in Light's room or... in Sayu's room"  
Sayu's eyes immediately lit up. The thought of L sleeping in her bed made her heart skip several beats and hands slightly sweat. She let her mind wonder down a hole of senarios where the two end up - "but Sayu's room isn't an option." _Gee wizz. Thanks, mom_

**_1 hour later_**

"Night boys!" Sachiko oh-so-cheerfully sang through the door. L squinted at the time on the digital clock beside Light's bed. 01:09. So unsatisfying.

Light quickly stripped off into his boxers and climbed into bed. L took off his trousers and shoes and squeezing in next to his love. The brunette closed his eyes, smiled and wrapped his arm around the back of Ryuzaki while the other rested his head on Light's chest and had his thin, pale arm curled around his body. The sound of Light's heart beat comforted the raven, but then earlier on's events came rushing back.

"What happened between Sayu-chan and Light-kun?" He asked gently, barely moving his mouth. He felt Light's heart quicken. "And don't bother lying. I can tell when Light-kun lies."

The brunette sighed. "She heard what I said to you about the salt and she was shocked. I think she's just really confused and a lil heartbroken" He ended with a chuckle in an attempt to break the tense atmosphere.

"Will she tell anyone?"

"I don't know"

L returned the sigh and snuggled up closer to Light. He enhaled, promised everything will be okay then fell into a light sleep. Also something that was very unusual of L these days.

And Light did a stupid thing. He believed him.

**Josefin's /2/ Note:  Oh hai dere. Like it? Yeah, I don't. I wrote it all in one day! And it's long as well! Eeeeh, hehehe. There's not much Souichiro which kind of disappoints me, but meh. I'll make him be in a lot of the next chapter.  
Anyhow, all types of reviews are appreciated! 3 **


	10. Chapter 10 (Just Get Your Phone Out)

**Josefin's Note: Woah, here I am back with more Secrets &amp; Trust Issues for ya thirsty asses so close after the latest chapter. Ahhhh!**

**We went to bed that night and dreamed of better things**

**A God, a devil and me**

**And how you lost your wings**

**I always wonder when you stopped loving me**

**But I can't see clearly  
**

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_Recap \- __The brunette sighed. "She heard what I said to you about the salt and she was shocked. I think she's just really confused and a lil heartbroken" He ended with a chuckle in an attempt to break the tense atmosphere._

_"Will she tell anyone?"_

_"I don't know"_

_L returned the sigh and snuggled up closer to Light. He enhaled, promised everything will be okay then fell into a light sleep. Also something that was very unusual of L these days._

_And Light did a stupid thing. He believed him._

* * *

"Light! Ryuzaki! Breakfast is downstairs," the Yagami father oh-so-very grumpily grunted outside the door and then trotted off down said stairs.

Light groaned and stretched his arm, forgetting of the raven's presence next to him. Everything in him felt so relaxed and comfortable that even the mere thought of moving and getting up and socializing gave him the blues. If he could, he would never leave his bed.  
L woke up to a sudden smack in the face. His eyes immediately opened and body jolted. After a few moments, his brain realized he was in the comfort of Light's bedroom and it was only Light's arm that had somehow fallen so ungracefully onto his face at god knows what time in the morning. As he turned over onto his side to get a better look at the sleeping brunette, every muscle in his body screamed at him to stop moving. _'That's what you get for finally letting your body sleep,' _he thought to himself, rolling his eyes.

Eventually, Light peeled his eyes open. However, he did not regret it like he was expecting to as he was met with the one he love's tired morning face. Light's mouth slowly stretched into a small smile without him even noticing. He pulled his hand out from beneath him and stroked the fluffy, black locks on L's head. "Good morning, babe~"

L felt his cheeks heat at his love's words as he squirmed under his hand and buried himself deeper under the duvet. His heart fluttered and instantly felt all warm and fuzzy inside. A few moments later the raven felt Light's arms wrap around his body and pull him closer, his warmth immediately intertwining with his own, their scents mixing into a beautiful love perfume.

"We need to go downstairs," L grunted after a while. I lifted his head from the mess of covers and arms and other body parts to look at Light. The brunette smiled and instantly gripped a little tighter to the other.

They stayed like that for a while. Just staring into each other's eyes, a small smile on their faces, both thinking how adorable the other one looked. And, before he knew it, Light whispered a small "I love you" and gently pressed their lips together. They both endured the moment together and kept their eyes closed. It was a kiss that was meaningful. Nothing too passionate, nothing heated or sloppy. It was a time stopping, heart leaping and comforting gesture that one only gets to endure with that one special person.

The first thing L noticed was the sudden light lighting up the room and then the sound of the door creaking. Instantly the pulled apart and kept the duvet over them, holding their breath. Both their eyes were wide open and mouths slightly open. 'Who is it?' Light mouthed, only getting a shrug as a reply.

Then the singing had started. Whoever rudely entered the without knocking burst out into song as they cleaned through Light's belongings. The sound was awfully familiar to Light as memories of his mother singing to him as a child came running back. Holding in a giggle, Light closed his eyes and breathed out slowly. 'It's my mum' he mouthed, knowing L was watching him.

Ryuzaki silently sighed and his smile widened. The singing echoed throughout the room as she burst into the chorus of 'Let's Get It On'. Light was biting hard down on his bottom lip and squeezing his eyes as closed as they possibly could. L had a mirrored expression.

* * *

By the time Sachiko was finished cleaning, the boy's stomachs were going mad. They both trod down the stairs pretending to be half asleep and plonked themselves down at the breakfast table. Sayu was there and was, of course, shooting strange looks at the two, her suspicions rising after seeing their matching red faces.  
Holding in laughter while under a thick bed cover is hot business, br u h.  
Carefully she poked two glasses in their direction along with the orange juice carton. Sayu couldn't help but notice L's cuteness first thing in the morning. His defenses were down and his hair looked as messy and as sexy as ever. He yawned and tapped his fingers on the table, bringing her attention to how big his fucking hands were.

Light didn't dare break his eyes away from his sister. He saw her intensely watching Lawliett. Heck, it seemed the raven was the only one who hadn't noticed because even Souchiro had lowered his newspaper to watch his crazed looking daughter.  
Sayu's cheeks were getting hotter. "Err... Do you want to be excused?" Souchiro whispered, gently touching her shoulder. The Yagami sister jumped in her seat then quickly nodded, putting her plate in the sink and then disappearing into the front room.

L stood up soon after, his chair scratching against the floor boards, as he announced he was in need of a piss. He turned around the corner and, when he was sure he was out of site, slipped into the front room where Sayu was sitting. He decided to use her infatuation to his advantage.

Cautiously, the raven perched himself on the couch. He stared at Sayu's once again heated face in hope she would start the conversation. He soon realized all hope in having a civilized conversation with her was lost. "So.." He began, pulling his knees closer to him. "Let's cut the bullshit, yeah?"  
Sayu immediately snapped her head in L's direction, her confusion on her face clear. _'God, he's even hot when he swears'_

"Right, er, Sayu-chan, can I call you that? Well, I've noticed the way you look at me. I know how people work, so when I tapped my fingers on the table earlier your reaction was going to either confirm my suspicions of you or completely wipe them away," A small smile found its way onto his face. "Fortunately, it confirmed them."

Sayu's eye size doubled as she opened her mouth, but she had somehow forgotten how to form words.  
"It's okay," L continued. "You don't have to talk. Just, get your phone out"

She almost instantly fumbled around in her pocket and brought out her phone, holding it in her shaking palm. "H-Here," she managed to squeak.  
Lawliett smiled again at her and gently took the phone from her hand. He quickly tapped in his number, then placed it back in her hand. "There," he folded her fingers over the phone, now holding her hands in his. "You've got my phone number now, so if you have any questions or statements or just anything you would like to tell me, text me and I'll get back as soon as I can, okay?"  
The raven stood up from the couch and hugged her awkwardly, then kissed her forehead and padded out of the room.

_'Ahh, just as I thought,' _he smirked, sliding back down into his chair in the kitchen.

* * *

Light's heart ached. He knew L didn't go to the toilet. He knew he went to the front room. His heart ached and panicked at the same time and that wasn't a good combination, especially if you were trying to awkwardly shovel down cereal before your dad bored you to death with all things Light couldn't care less for.  
When L returned with a slight smirk, Light couldn't help but feel suspicious. His trust issues from a few months ago bit and nagged at the back of his mind.

Everything was so confusing, and he hated it.

* * *

**Josefin's Note:**** Nyeh, kinda short I know. Sorru! But I feel like this is a good place to stop for this chapter, yeah? Yeah. Haha. Reviews? ;3;****  
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	11. Chapter 11

**Josefin's Note- Gah, I'm so tired! I tried to juggle my social life, internet life, school and family all at once. I don't recommend trying this! It won't work! So, I've decided to save money and to control the bags under my eyes, I shall only juggle my internet life and school. I mean, having a social life is just so expensive. Yes, I've got a best friend who I talk to at school and on the phone all night anyway? And the other people I really couldn't care less about tbh. I'm going to a convention with loads of people in like two weeks so I need to save up for that. And family? Bruh, they can call, text. I see them whenever I can. Anywho, I doubt you care. Blergh. Life.**

**Warnings **** \- Yaoi, Cheating suspicion, Le Sexy Time and horny Sayu****  
**

**It Gets Better by Joel Faviere**

**Your minds all turned over**

**from words of illusion**

**but you're fine**

**You're fine**

**Lay your head down**

**It'll be alright**

**Take the time to realize, they're all just lies.  
**

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"Okay, thank you for letting us stay for the night. The dinner was lovely, miss Yagami," L cheerfully said. He had on the night before's clothing considering he didn't bring any spares and Light was wearing a pair of his old red jeans and thin black-t.

Sayu awkwardly watched the pair say their goodbyes, awaiting L to glance at her. Hoping he'd notice her staring, the Yagami sister sneezed as cutely as she could. The raven looked over at her with dead eyes, remembered he needed to be kind to her, then gave her a small smile. "Bless you," he said, making her cheeks go red.

Light furrowed his eyebrows. His thoughts were nagging him again and, no matter how many times he tried to think of other things or willed them to just piss off, they would never go.

Once every one was satisfied with their goodbyes, the couple carefully closed the door behind them. Light immediately held onto L's hand and as soon as he thought they were out of sight pulled him into a big kiss. L of course instantly returned. When they broke apart for breath, they held each other close in a warm hug, the early morning breeze trying to find its way into every gap of their clothing.

Sachiko stepped back from the peep-hole on the door and sighed, a cute smile on her face. Her husband lowered his newspaper and pulled his eyebrows down. "What are you smiling about?" he asked, standing up and walking over to her.  
She wrapped her arms around him and rested her chin on his chest. "Our boy's found his love, honey."

Sayu was, luckily, out of ear shot and was in her room. She lay on her bed thinking of the past 24 hours. Meeting Ryuzaki, looking at Ryuzaki, talking to Ryuzaki, Ryuzaki's hug, Ryuzaki's forehead kiss. Ryuzaki in general. Her cheeks was flushed a pretty pink at the thought of his smile. She believed in love at first sight when, in reality, she just had a weird obsession with him.  
The Yagami sister reached into her pant's pockets and pulled out her phone. Well, at least he didn't lie to her. There read his name (with a little heart next to it) and then his phone number, nicely tucked away into Sayu's phone contacts. She debated texting him or calling him, but felt she didn't want to come off as a crazed fangirl.  
"Give it five minutes," she sighed to herself, dropping her phone on her chest and proceeding to think of L.

* * *

All the way home Light struggled to keep the smile on his face. He just wanted to curl up into a ball and cry. He hated not being able to trust anyone. Not even his damn sister!  
As he lazily dropped down onto the couch, he rubbed a hand over his eyes. L had disappeared into the toilet so Light was glad to have some times to himself. Slowly he flicked through the channels on the TV in front of him, head leaning against his palm. Nothing was taking his mind off of his suspicions. Scenarios of his boyfriend and his sister kept popping into his mind, disgusting him and scaring him. He ruffled his hair and covered his eyes with the bottoms on his hands, rubbing them. He felt the tears teasing him. He couldn't cry; L would be back soon and question him.

The raven sat on the lid of the toilet, staring blankly at the door, his phone in his hand.  
_'Why did Light stay silent all the way home? Have I done something? Why is he sad?'  
_L's phone lit up and buzzed in his hand. He unlocked it and clicked on the text message from an unknown number:  
**'Hey Ryuzaki. It's Sayu, Light's sister?'**

A small smirk stretched out across L's face as he tapped back a reply. **I just got home! Haha, you're quick x**

When L returned he walked in on a smiling Light. The brunette was chatting happily on the phone, chuckling with every word. The raven didn't know whether to feel happy that his love was happy or jealous because that person is entertaining Light more than he can.  
Gently, the older male slid his phone in his pocket and walked behind the couch. He let his hands slide down Light's chest as he left kisses on the brunette's neck, occasionally biting down and sucking to mark his territory.

Light's eyes popped open as he moaned down the phone to Misa. His cheeks instantly lit up at both his sudden outburst and L's hands traveling further and further down. "E-Er... I-I have to go, Misa. I'll, err, yeah," Light said before quickly hitting the End Call button. He turned his head around to L's, "B-Babe, are you okay?"

The raven waved his hand at Light, telling him to be quiet as he lifted his head up. His face was slightly flushed, but smile was full of happiness. This lifted the brunette's heart a bit. As soon as L removed himself from Light and began walking around the couch, Light's heart thumped. L trapped Light between his legs and pulled his black shirt over his head. L sat there for a few moments, admiring his love's body, before holding said detective's arms behind his head.  
Light turned his head looked away, his face completely red. He felt L began kissing up his chest, biting down a bit here and there, never letting his arms go. L made his way up until his got to his face and immediately crushed their lips together, the raven slightly grinding against the younger one.

After an intense make out session Light was suddenly in the mood and ripped L's shirt off. "Really?" the raven chuckled, sliding off of the brunette's lap. Carefully, L kneeled down between Light's legs and fiddled with his jean button until it opened. L grabbed onto the belt hoops and stepped back, peeling the skinny jeans off. Light gasped and covered his underwear covered erection with his arms and hands, trying his best to look casual but obviously failing. When the raven had thrown all removed clothing behind the couch, he returned his attention back to his love. A smirk grew on his face as he wrapped his fingers around the other's wrists. "It's okay, Light. That's supposed to happen," he said, gently removing Light's arms.

The brunette bit his lip but rolled his eyes at L. "I know, I'm just embarrassed."  
"Well you're adorable when you're embarrassed," L stated, before sliding Light's boxers down his legs and onto the floor in a split second. The younger instantly went to cover his naked self out of habit, but L caught his arms. "It's okay," he said again.

Light didn't know where to look or what to do with his hands and L placed them on the couch by his sides and began moving closer and closer to him. The raven wrapped his lips around Light's member and gently sucked on the tip. The brunette bucked his hips up at the touch, to which L responded with by taking more in, almost deep throating but not quite. Light held a hand over his mouth to stop himself from moaning loudly as L picked up the pace.  
When the raven felt as if Light was just getting used to this new touch, he pulled himself away. Light sighed and furrowed his eyebrows at L, slightly panting. "M-More..." he moaned. "You c-can't just leave- Oh"

The brunette stopped speaking as L removed his own pants and boxers, revealing his own hard on. Light gulped slightly, scared it might hurt him due to its length.  
The raven walked over to the couch again and turned Light so he was lying down on the soft surface. L pinned Light down with one hand and gently swiped the brunette's pre-cum onto his two fingers. Light raised his hips up instantly, longing for his boyfriend's touch, needing him inside.  
The raven smirked. "Patience, Light-kun. I need to prepare you first"  
L spread Light's legs and slowly, very slowly, put his fingers into Yagami's entrance. The brunette squeaked at the pain squeezed the raven's arm not that his hands were free, his nails digging into the flesh. After a few more moments of searching, L hit Light's prostrate, making said brunette moan loudly and, once again, thrust his hips up.  
As quick as he could, the raven replaced his fingers with his member, causing Light some dull pain, but that stopped not long after. L bit his lip hard as he picked up the pace with his thrusting. The raven wrapped his hand around Light's member and pumped to the same pace as his hips.

The brunette was extremely close, but he'd get embarrassed if he came that early, so he held it in for as long as he could. He moaned loudly, but didn't care. Sweat trickled down the side of his head as he finally let go, releasing his cum all over the raven's chest and a bit on his face. L came soon after.  
Panting, he pulled out and lay down on the floor next to the couch, his heart thumping in his chest, both of them with a large smile on their faces.

* * *

They spent the rest of the day cuddling watching movies and showering. When the clocked chimed eleven times, signaling one hour left of the day, L stood up and held his hand out. "Sleep time, yeah?"  
Light put his tanned hand in L's pale one and squeezed.

Everything was okay.

_For now._

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_._

**Josefin's Second Note-**** I... I have no idea where that came from ;3;. That wasn't in this chapter's plans. It just kind of happened? Ehh. I don't know. Anyway, let me know what you think?^^****  
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	12. Chapter 12 (Personal Views)

**Josefin's Note- Hey. So, something happened in the Life of Josefin and for the past week I've been trying to... I don't know what I've been trying to do. It's made me feel numb. Everyday I just feel numb. And to take my mind off it I've decided to try and finish these two fucking fanfictions. Sorry if it gets a bit depressing. **

**Video Games by Lana Del Rey**

**I say, "You the bestest."**

**Lean in for a big kiss**

**Put his favorite perfume on**

**Go play a video game  
**

* * *

_Light's POV_

I'm spinning down a hole of paranoia. Yes, the night we spent together was fantastic, even thought it did kill my masculinity a bit, but I still don't trust him. It kills me that I can't trust him. I want to so badly, so, so badly. But I just... don't. Everytime his phone lights up or he giggles at a text or- I don't know. I get a pang of jealousy. And suspicion. Why? Why must I feel like this all the time? L's the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I can't spend seem to spend ten minutes without thinking of him cheating.

I feel like the worst boyfriend. Ever. I feel like I'm always disappointing him. Maybe that's why he's gone and found someone new to fuck around with, and is only saying he's still with me to keep my happy and satisfied. OR he's using me for a quick fuck when he feels like it. Or he's using me to get to my sister. Blergh, the thought of L and Sayu together makes me want to barf. No. Never. Neither of them would do that to me. Right?

I'm overthinking it, I know. Relationships are supposed to make you feel happy, light on your feet, right? Then why am I always so down about it? The time we spend together it great - I love every minute - then as soon as there's no more talking and we both split to do our own things, my thoughts come running back. And I start overthinking it again. God, what is wrong with me?

* * *

_L's POV_

I'm a terrible person.

I'm using her. I'm using her feelings as a gateway to finding out the truth about Light. My suspicions on him cheating rise about 5% everyday. It's uncomfortable.

I use Sayu to find out about what really happens when I'm not around. When Light says he's going to visit his mum, is he really? I flirt with Sayu then eventually get the answers. Does this count as cheating? I'm only doing it to keep our relationship stable. Once I have enough proof Light-kun is not cheat then I will stop and come clean about everything.

I do sneak around a bit though. To keep Sayu thinking I like her I have to meet her at the park once her school has finished every Wednesday and Friday. I tell Light-kun I'm going to get some more sweets or that the milk has ran out and I'm going to get more. He doesn't really show any emotion about me leaving. He just kind of nods or shrugs.

I don't know whether to feel relieved or hurt by that.

**.**

**Josefin's Second Note-**** It's finally coming to an end. Soon this story will end, and then TMH will finish. I've been considering making a new account considering certain things, but I don't know, it's not official, just an idea (like MCR). Anywho, I'm going to nurse my sadness and mourn. (If you're actually interested in my life then ask and I'll tell you what happened, but if you don't care don't bother)**


	13. Chapter 13

**Josefin's Note- Hey. I'm not okay, but that doesn't matter. What matters is that I get these two bloody stories done so I can live life without the stress of them.**

**Brother by Falling in Reverse**

**Brother, why'd you have to go? You left us all so soon. **

**Remember that song I wrote about your family years ago? Well, they're waiting for you to come home.**

**What do I do? What do I say? And dad tells me to pray. So I've prayed and prayed, but the hurt won't go away.**

**The pain gets worse, it never stops. And I've asked to lord for us to swap. I begged and plead 'cos you have kids to feed.**

**Why is it always stormy weather?**

**And brother, tell me if it all gets better:**

**Why did you leave? Why did you die? You finally made your brother cry.**

**I know you're watching over us tonight. And I hope you're watching over us tonight.**

**I'm sorry I missed your call. I wasn't there for you at all. **

**And now I've thought it through, maybe if I answered you that you would still be here all along.**

**Now no more calls, can't you see? I took for granted family. And once they're gone you'll never get that back.**

**No more laughs, no more hugs. ****So hold on to the ones you love.**

**Your soul is free; I love you Anthony. **

**And why**** is it always stormy weather? **

**And brother, tell when does it get better?**

**Why did you leave? Why did you die?**

**You finally made your brother cry. **

**I know you're watching over up above. **

**So hold on to the ones you love.**

* * *

_She keeps fucking texting me. Fucking hell, Sayu, you're killing me here._

L sighed and rubbed his temple between two fingers, eyes closed. He slammed down on the answer button.

It had been, what, three? Four weeks? Every morning, evening, hour, minutes Sayu was calling and/or texting the raven. It was sending him crazy and, soon enough, the mere sight of a phone sent shivers down his phone.

He looked over at his mobile in disgust as the girl screamed down the speaker. "BAAAAAAAABE!" She screeched, voice high and horrible.

"H-Hello?" L replied. He knew his voice sounded more timid than expected, but, hey, fear can do many things.

Light eye's immediately shot over to the raven's direction as the sound echoed around the room. His eyebrows slowly furrowed as the voice coming from the man's mobile was recognized, it's squeaky, annoying pitch almost impossible to forget.  
Yagami quickly shook his head. No way would it be Sayu. Running his hand through his hair, Light mouthed 'Who is it?' at his love.

The raven's reply was quick, panicked. He covered the mic and leaned closer to Light, whispering, "Misa-Misa"

This only made Light even more confused, and the dreaded feeling of betrayal he had been trying his best to block out came bouncing back, harsh and painful. His heart, girly enough to admit, hurt.

L nodded, said okay about a billion times, rolled his eyes double the normal amount and ended the call with a groan. Slowly the raven stepped down from his chair and walked up to Light, leaning down on the arms of his chair once close enough. Lawliett leant his forehead against the other's, eyes open and staring into beautiful brown ones.

"I love you~"

Light leaned forward and pecked L's soft lips.

"I love you more~"

His heart was fluttering. That was the first time in weeks the raven had shown such affections towards Light. Hearing those three words made the hurt in his heart disappear almost completely as he struggled to keep a neutral face. His smile just refused to go.

That all lasted for less than ten seconds, though, as the raven decided to stand back up straight and sheepishly admit the milk was, for the third time this week, low.

"So, I'll be back in a few minutes, yeah?" Ryuzaki smiled a fake smile.

Light let his fringe cover his eyes, shadow hiding the the tears swelling up. He hated wet anger. It was hard to control, almost impossible, and made him look weak, which, as we all know, Light was not. "No," he managed to croak out.

L stopped in his tracks. He span around on his heals and stood about five meters from the door. His mouth opened to form words, but his voice failed him. There was no point in trying to defend himself; it was suprising he'd gotten away with it for this long.

Light swallowed and looked up, fist clenched. This time his 'wet anger' was all over the place; easy to control at some moments then absolutely impossible the next. He felt the tears in his eyes swell up just enough to pour over, but with long, harsh blink they were gone.

"Why?" The brunette said. He was standing up now, head slightly cocked to the right, shaking left to right. "Why me, huh?"

The raven stepped forward, a sigh of defeat leaving him. Giving up was not his forte, but what could he say now? He hung his head.

"Are you gonna just stand there now? Silent?" Light stepped forward, fuming. His fists were clenched and stance strong, teeth grit. His tears had disappeared and now he needed to hit something, anything. "Really? Are you _that _much of a fucking dick'ead?"

L flinched when Light moved closer to him. He was scared. He'd never seen Light this angry before. Yeah, they'd argued before, but not like this. The raven hadn't of expected Light to react this badly to it. I mean, it wasn't like he was cheating on him or anything. Just meeting his sister in secret to find out if he was cheating, that's all. _Still a pretty shit thing to do, though._

_How fucking dare you, _is what Light wanted to say. _How fucking dare you accept me into your heart, let me fall deeper and deeper in love with you. How fucking dare you make me think you love me too. How fucking dare you make me think I had found the one, let me imagine us together in the future, married, maybe with a few kids. Then drop me like that. Lie to me, cheat on me. With my own fucking sister? Really? Or maybe it wasn't just my sister! Misa? Maybe my mum? My fucking dad? How fucking dare you, you sick, twisted piece of shit._

But he couldn't. Saying that much would end badly, he'd either be on the floor in tears or with his fist in the air and do something he'd regret later. Instead he said in a harsh, blunt way,  
"Of all the people I could have fallen in love with, I chose you. Sadly."

Again, L flinched. He could feel Light's anger from where he was standing, around five steps away from him. His knees were weak and were ready to give over. He felt his heart will give over, also, it was beating so damn fast. He didn't dare lift his head or move an inch. Maybe it was fear or embarrassment, he didn't know.

Light took three more steps forward. Then another two, just very, very slowly. He towered over L like a skyscraper, his whole body still and chest puffed out, making L shrink down.

"Lawliett," he said every word carefully, slow and steady. "Go fuck yourself"

With that, Light walked past the raven, shoulders and hands gently brushing over each other. L took this chance and quickly grabbed hold of the brunette's hand, turning his head slowly once the other span around, hair puffed and face red. He opened his mouth the speak, but was cut off.

"Don't. Just..." Light closed his eyes and shook his head. "Don't."

L didn't take his eyes away from Light's as he let his hand go. L didn't take his eyes away from Light's back as he walked away. L didn't take his eyes away as the tears poured down and door slammed shut, announcing the brunette's final absence. And his knees finally did give over, just as his heart did as it broke in two.

_Chase after me. Call me name, scream at me to wait. Tell me you love me, that I've misunderstood everything. Chase after me. Call my name. I'll wait. Just please, chase after me._

**LxL**

Light's POV

I didn't like walking. I don't like walking. Especially when it was cold. So, I went to the nearest house I knew of -

Misa Amane.

**.**

**.**

**Josefin's Second Note:**** Wouldn't it suck ass if I ended it here?**


	14. Chapter 14 (Bitter Over Someone)

**Josefin's Note - ...Hey. I've, uhm, been away for a bit. It feels weird being back here after everything's that happened, but hey ho! I feel better than last time. Not completely okay, but better. I felt well enough to actually try today, so that's good? Yeee! Alright, here we gooo!**

**.**

**We know full well there's just time**

**So is it wrong to dance this line?**

**If your heart was full of love**

**Could you give it up?**

**Not About Angels by Birdy (First four lines)**

* * *

****Chapter 14 - Most of Us Are Bitter Over Someone****

_3rd of March 2011 - Four years ago - Light's POV_

Did I hear him right?

I had just finished school. Fifth period I had an English exam. Fuckin' aced it. Sometimes I feel like I'm the smartest fourteen year old on the planet. I can make myself believe this for weeks, and, dude, it boosts my self esteem so much!

But, anyway.

As I was saying I was just leaving school. I had my arm linked through Nozomi's (my best friend. I have a soft spot for tall girls with big boobs. The hugs are always the best) and my bag slung around my body, absolutely ruining my mother's efforts to iron my uniform. But who cares? It's friday!

I never liked having a large group of friends. Why would I? With a large group of friends that would mean more effort into keeping a good social life and more people knowing... my secret. Only Nozomi and my homeroom know my secret. They all don't care enough to tell anyone interesting, but I feel like everyone has guessed it anyway. I mean, I don't act very 'straight', do I?

ANYWAY! Gah, where is my mind going? I need to write this down while I'm still buzzing from it.

It was really sunny, so when Nozomi put her hand over her eyes I thought she was just blocking the sun, when really she was trying to get a closer look at the boy coming our way. She elbowed me and tilted her head in the direction of him.

"Your boyfriend's heading this way," She muttered, making me blush. By my 'boyfriend' she meant Oliver (Oli, for short). He was the cute, funny guy everyone liked and got on well with. He didn't have one friendship group, but many. He was part of them all. How does he manage?

And I may or may not have had an extremely large thing for him since I was 11, when we first met. It was my first year in secondary school (middle school for all you Americans) and, well, all I had to do was look at him and - boom. It was love.

Jesus christ, anyway. Oli was walking up to me, the sun highlighting the different shades of blonde in his hair, with a large smile on his face, showing off his pearly whites. I hit Nozomi's arm and quickly muttered, "The fuck do I do?" but before she could answer, he was in front of me, still fucking smiling.

"Hey," he voiced cooly, hand behind his neck. "Say, Light, can I talk to you?" He looked over at Nozomi very quickly, his face suddenly beginning to heat and smile disappearing. He then looked back to me. "Privately?"

I nodded, hands in my pockets and slowly began following Oliver. With his back to me I quickly span around and gave Nozomi a big thumbs up, then quickly span back around.

We walked all the way around the school to the bike sheds. I leaned against the metal, the roof of said shed blocking any annoying heat and light, as he stood in front of me, his large tanned hands carefully and kinda awkwardly shoved into his front pockets. He leaned on his toes then back down onto his heels. "Soooo"

"Soooo?" I repeated after him, though making is more of a question. My heart was pounding so hard in my chest and ears began ringing I thought he could hear it. Me and Oliver ALONE (I repeat, E) in the bike shed?

He looked down at the ground, his perfect blue eyes now out of sight, and shyly brought his shoulders up to the side of his head. "So, uhm, Light.. Can I ask you something?"

"You just did."

"Two things?"

"Again, you just did." I giggled. I tried, oh God I tried not to giggle. But I couldnt help it! He was being cute and smiling at me because I was teasing him. What'd expect?

"Right... Haha," Oliver scratched the back of his head and laughed. "Can I show you... Instead of asking, then?" He stepped closer and my giggling stopped. I stood pressed against the bike shed, trying to become one with it as he stepped closer and closer.

And then finally, after all these years and wishing, hoping, fantasizing about it... Oliver kissed me. His lips were so soft against mine and he was so gentle. I could feel his body pressed against mine, his eyes closed (so I quickly closed mine - hey it was my first time AND I was in shock).

It was completely and utterly perfect. So much, in fact, that when he pulled away my lips and body instantly began begging for more. I slowly re opened my eyes, everything buzzing, and my cheeks felt heated. Fuck, I was blushing.

But that was okay, because so was Oliver. As confident as he acted I could tell he was shitting himself under all of it. He gently rested his hands on my hips and looked at me, a small, cute smile placed gently on his face. "Light Yagami, will you be mine?"

And I nodded. And I whispered a small 'yes' before I was pulled back into a passionate kiss.

* * *

_Present Day_

Light Yagami was carefully curled up on the sofa belonging to Misa Amane. He throat ached as he told the story. His eyes would fill with tears at the mention of his name. It hurt her. It hurt her because she knew all she could do was make him tea and give him a shoulder to cry on.

It hurt her because she knew

She knew the only person who could truly help Light

Was the only person Light was truly

Truly crying about.

* * *

**Hola! I've changed some shit around. I know it will make the story longer (fml) buuuuut I like the idea I have in mind. It is confusing, I know, but I want to give a reason for Light to be so hurt and to have misunderstood everything. Maybe I could do a childhood L story next chapter? Eh?**


	15. Chapter 15

**Josefin's Note - Hey! I'm baaaack with Chapterrr... Idek. But, anyway, enjoy!**

****I was so sure of it, I thought she was the one**  
**But she stood me up, and let me down**  
**Now I'm right here all by myself**  
**What ever happened to our night alone**  
**Not gonna waste my time anymore**  
**

**Stood Me Up by Stephen Jerzak  
**

* * *

**Chapter 15**

* * *

_17th of January 2012 - Three Years Ago - Light's POV_

I take it back. Everything I've said about him. Since that day in the shed. Every second of the past year I regret and all I wanna do now is cry and punch something and hurt myself and just -

Just as I finished writing yesterday entry about our day out to the carnival with his little sister he text me. He told me to meet him outside school tomorrow, that he's got a suprise for me.

Of course I felt excited. His last suprise was... Interesting.

Anyway, so the next morning I practically skipped to school. I raced through the first two periods and blushed when he held me. I don't know why, but every time he kisses me or hugs me I blush. We've been together for almost a year and I still get butterflies every time he says my name.

Throughout lunch he kept acting like everything was normal. He held me close and ran his fingers up and down my back as normal, like he does everyday. He kissed me before we went back to classes and told me he loved me, to which I returned. He told me he was going to miss me. He promised me.

He acted like everything was so fine, that there were no secrets. I couldn't tell anything was wrong or different. He seemed like ordinary Oli. My Oli. My Oliver.

I trusted him. I trusted him so much.

But why? Why was he acting like there were no secrets, when the truth was to be told only an hour later?

Fifth period ended and so did Mentor, so I went outside and waited by the gates for him. I called his phone, but no answer. I decided, after fifteen minutes, to go to his Mentor room.

I should have just turned around. I should have gone home. It was cold, I had an excuse. Why did I go down that corridor with a smile on my face? Why was I excited to see him? Why was I blushing? Why did my heart skip several beats when I turned the door handle?

Why did I walk in on my English teacher fucking my boyfriend?

I felt my smile fade and tears begin bubbling. I felt all my limbs go loose. I didn't even jump when the door hit the wall.

My teacher jumped back and instantly pulled his trousers up, his face flushed. Oliver stood up, face also flushed, and opened his mouth to speak, to explain. "I-I can explain..." he stuttered, but I was over being sad, I was angry now.

I clenched my fists and squeezed my eyes shut. "Go on then!" I shouted. "Explain!"

Oliver obviously hadn't expected me to be angry. I didn't expect myself to be angry. "I...I.." He started. After a few moments Oli furrowed his eyebrows sorrowfully and held out his hand, taking a step towards me. "Light..."

At first I was confused. Why did HE sound sad? Then I felt it on my cheek. My slow tear. Slow and steady, heavy on my red cheek. I opened my eyes and touched it, and soon there were more. They came flooding and my legs wanted to give way.

I wasn't strong enough.

So I slapped his hand away and span around, running down the hall as fast as I could.

But you can't run away from your problems. You can't run away from the pain, from the hurt. They always stay with you. The memories. The scars. The scars from the memories. They always stay with you.

* * *

_Present Day _

"And that's why..." Light croaked, eyes gently closed, body tightly curled up in a chair and mug pressed against his chest. "That's why I want to die, Misa." He opened his shiny eyes and took a sip from his hot chocolate.

Misa wiped away her tears in gentle dabs, eye liner streaking down her face. "Because it's happened again, hasn't it?" She didn't break eye contact from the fragile boy in front of her. "Hasn't it, Light?"

The brunette sighed and nodded, eyes once again closed. He could feel the tears wanting to bubble over, but he wouldn't let them. He was strong now. Strong enough to take this.

* * *

A/N - Next chapter our lil detectives will discuss things, I promise!


	16. Chapter 16 (The End)

**Josefin's Note - Waaah, guess who let they're social life get in the way again?! Ah! I thought I'd have this story done by summer! Hey, this could be the last chapter. Actually, no. Definitely second last. **

* * *

**Chapter 16**

* * *

The famous Misa Amane stood by her fridge crunching away on her cereal. Light had been with her for three days now - and not once has he mentioned L. He mopes around looking sad and dragging his dark aura around the house, spreading it and making Misa's life just as depressing.

Now, don't get it wrong, Misa loves Light. Maybe a little more than she should, but it still makes her want him to be happy. A sad Light isn't a nice Light, and every night when she hears him cry out in the guest room her heart feels like someone's just pinged it with an elastic band. She pretends to be asleep, but all she wants to do is go into his room and hug him until he stops crying. And his eyes are always red and puffy in the mornings.

So there she was, thinking sad thoughts when she began sensing his horrible aura. Her heart sank when he strolled in, looking even worse than the past two mornings.

"Light... You look like shit," She said before really thinking, then deciding not to regret it because, well, he should know,

He opened the cupboard and brought out a glass. "Wow, thanks, love you too," he muttered, watching the water fill the glass.

The blonde girl also watched as it spilled over the edge. She watched as he just stood there, his eyes on the glass but his mind somewhere else. The water was spilling out into the sink and onto his arm and it looked cold.

Misa sighed and put her bowl down. She turned off the tap and put the glass down next to her. By the time she'd turned around Light was no longer standing up, but on the floor. "Light!" she exclaimed, instantly going onto her knees.

She put her two fingers against his wrist and felt his pulse. She put her hand in front of his mouth - he was still breathing. She watched his chest rise up and down, before nodding. Yes, he had just fainted.

The girl fell back onto her butt, crossing her legs over one another. She ran her thin fingers through Light's dirty hair, still watching his chest. Up and down. Up and down. Her eyes moved over to his closed ones. His face looked so peaceful. His whole body was relaxed and safe and _calm._ Seeing him like this made Misa smile; finally he's getting some moments peace.

Eventually Misa carried Light into the guest room. She gently lay him on the bed and sat by his side, undressing him. When she was done struggling she stood up and placed a gently kiss on his forehead, pushing the greasy hair away from his eyes. She stood by the door watching him for a few moments before carefully closing it, taking careful steps away.

He was a handful, but he was worth it.

**LxL**

Watari was worried. He hadn't heard anything from L for three whole days - of course he'd be worried. This had only happened once before.

Watari shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut at the memory. No, no. He mustn't think of THAT.

And so on the third day Watari decided to walk to HQ himself. On his way up in the lift he sighed, rubbing his temples.

He loved L. L was like his child. He had always felt obliged to look after that little ball of fluff from the day they met. Watari remembered a lot of when him and Lawliet first really, properly became partners in crime (well, sort of crime) and he found himself smiling. The lift was not yet on floor five, so he took these last moments of peace to his advantage and closed his eyes, leaning against the back and smiling. Yes, everything was going to be okay.

When the doors finally opened Watari kept his stiff pace as he entered the HQ. It looked the same, but empty. He imagined L sitting on his chair like he usually does, and slowly spinning around when he heard the man walk in. He imagined little L pushing off the table and letting the chair on wheels quickly spin towards him, ending in both of them on the floor in a fit of laughter.

Watari shook his head.

There was no L in sight.

However, there was a horrible, unclean smell coming from under the table, behind the chair. A smell like B/O and grease. The older man followed the smell, trying not to sniff like a dog, and eventually had to hold his nose. He saw a small foot with its toes clinging onto the wheels of the chair with all its might peeking out from under the table. He followed the foot with his eyes to the beginning of light blue jeans, before the shadow of the table covered it.

Watari smiled, scratching the back of his head.

_Ah, you really are a handful_.

The grey haired man crouched down, the smell almost powering over him, and tilted his head to the side. "Lawliet?" he asked in his serious voice.

He saw L's foot tense at the sound of before his whole body relaxed with a small shuffling sound. The foot slowly shriveled back towards the detective. After a few moments of silence, Watari considered going out and buying cake or saying something else. But he didn't need to.

L was cowering. Like a pathetic shrimp. He hadn't eaten in days, his limbs ached and stomach groaned for food. He had no energy to anything, and he hadn't been out in the light of even HQ in two days.

As soon as Light had left, L stayed on his knees for a while. He had eventually curled up into a ball of sweat and lay on the cold marble floor, biting at the skin around his thumb. He hated feeling powerless. So sooner or later he gave into this new and horrible feeling and crawled all the way to the table, where he sank down into the corner under it and pulled the chair in front of him.

He couldn't remember how long he'd sat there. It felt like hours, days, weeks. He hadn't slept, but that was normal for him. He felt sweaty and groggy and dirty. He missed being held and kissed and loved for.

So when Watari arrived L was desperate for some kind of affection. And he saw Watari as a father and a mother combined. His heart leaped when he recognized the footsteps, and when he heard his voice... It felt like L had found Jesus.

But the younger man didn't want his peers to see him like this; pathetic, weak. So he pulled the chair closer to him with his toes and squeezed his eyes shut. But he didn't have the energy.

After a few moments of thought, Lawliet didn't care anymore. He wanted to cry, scream.

And so, the raven jumped out from under the table very suddenly and wrapped his arms around Watari instantly, squeezing as hard as he could (which wasn't much considering his energy).

When Watari felt L's arms around him for the first time he began feeling sorry for the man. The feeling of the raven's struggle to even kneel and hug the elder hurt his heart, so he pulled him onto his lap and hugged him tightly, not making L struggle as much.

The men sat there for a few moments, L crying into Watari's shoulder and Watari stroking L's sweaty, greasy hair. When L let out a painful sigh and struggled out the sentence "I just want him back" Watari knew what he was dealing with here.

Light.

Light had done this to his son.

He had to pay.

**LxL**

Light groaned. His legs were horribly sweaty under Misa's thick duvet.

He also groaned because waking up pained him. Sleeping and dreaming was so much better than reality. He hadn't slept in all three days he was staying there, so when the memories of fainting in the kitchen from exhaustion came he wasn't the slightest bit suprised.

The brunette rolled over and checked the time on his phone: **13:14**. He dropped his head onto the pillow, the softness of it comforting. His body ached for more sleep but he just couldn't. However, he did want to stay in this very position all day, so he snuggled his face further down into the softness and sighed, relaxing his arms and legs. All until-

_Bding!_

He opened his eyes against the pillow and furrowed his eyebrows. Who the fuck would be texting him?

Light had been checking his phone every second, waiting for a text from L. Anything would do. _How are you? Are you busy? I'm sorry._

Saying he was nervous to check his texts would be a large understatement. But sooner or later he mustered up the courage and unlocked his mobile.

_**L :**_

_**Hello, Light-kun. **_

_**Watari here. Please come to HQ at 3pm (15:00 on a 24hour clock). We need to discuss things.**_

**_W _**

The sight of a text from 'L' was enough to bring Light to tears. The mention of his name broke his heart - if it was even possible to brake it even more.

After a while, Light slid the phone into his boxer lining and climbed out of bed. The breeze on his bare chest and legs and arms and forehead brought shivers down his spine, but he liked it so he didn't get dressed.

He walked out of the room and gently closed the door behind him. After that sleep he did feel slightly fresher, but he did still feel sweaty and groggy and _sad. _He saw his reflection in the microwave when he walked past it. It was for a split second, but he noticed what three days of not looking after yourself did to you.

Light was already a skinny boy, but now he looked dangerously skinny. When he ran a finger down his now visible ribs he scrunched his face up. His posture was bad, too. And he felt a few spots beginning to appear on his sweaty face. His hair was clumpy and no longer brown and fluffy. His hands shook naturally.

He shook his head, walking back to the microwave and turning it around. He didn't want to see that again.

And so he opened the fridge, running a hand down his face. He looked in staring at all the food that had appeared during his sleep. He sighed a small smile appearing. He put his hand in a pulled out a strawberry yoghurt. Light carefully pealed back the lid and put it on the side, opening the draw and taking a spoon out. He held the spoon between his thin fingers and gently dipped it into the fruity food.

Misa stood silently by the door. Light hasn't seen her yet and couldn't even sense her. She watched, her mouth open and eyes wide. Was he _eating? Light _was _eating voluntarily? _She smiled to herself; maybe he was getting better.

She tensed as he placed the spoon in his mouth, carefully dragging it out with his lips clamped against it. She watched as his eyes fluttered closed when he swallowed the food helping him.

Misa folded her arms across her chest; _so all it took was a little sleep, huh? I always knew you were a fighter, Light._

**LxL**

L had showered. He'd showered, slept for an hour, had a change of clothes and eaten as much Victoria spunge cake as he could muster. He felt alive again. Bouncy, ready. Yes, the thought of seeing Light punched him in the heart, but he was ready.

The raven stared at himself in the mirror. He wasn't wearing his usual stuff. Instead, he was wearing a black smart shirt and fitting black trousers. His shirt had the first three or so buttons un done and he smelt like heaven. L felt confident, but weird at the same time. It wasn't _him. _

Watari walked up behind him and placed his hands on his shoulders. "You look great, Ryuzaki," he whispered, smiling at him through the mirror. And L nodded in response. He didn't need telling he looked great, he already knew.

**LxL**

Misa and Light had had a very, very long conversation on the kitchen floor. Light had eaten all of her six strawberry yoghurts _and _a ham sandwich. He wanted more food, but he had to leave soon so he couldn't have any.

They discussed his feelings and everything that had happened. She expressed her worries and he accepted them, promising he was going to work on becoming healthy again. Then he dropped the bombshell on her; the text. She nodded, pretending to be suprised. When, really, she was relieved. They needed to get things sorted. By the time she had persuaded him to actually go it was half two, so he half less than twenty minutes to get read.

Misa helped him shower and get dressed. He put on a fancy white shirt and smart black trousers. His hair was back to life and fluffy again. He smiled at his reflection, no longer feeling repulsed by it.

His hands started shaking when it was time to leave, though. Misa had refused to come with him into the building and instead hugged him and wished him luck at the door.

The brunette faced he building. He stuck his chest out and took in a deep breath, before opening the doors.

Inside smelt the same. The strange brown stain on the carpet was the same. The dodgy blinking light in the far corner was the same. Everything was the same, and he didn't know how to feel about it. Had his absence not made a difference? He didn't know what he was expecting, but he was expecting _something. _

_'Hey, you could die and everything would stay the same,"_ he chucked to himself, before frowning and realizing that, no, that was negative.

He strolled up to the receptionist and asked if he could go up. She looked up at him. She looked about sixteen, seventeen. Not much younger than himself, but she seemed younger. Her eyes innocent. She looked like a normal seventeen year old. Whereas he... He looked five or ten years older. Oh well.

She denied his access upstairs, and he instantly felt defensive. How could _anyone stop him from seeing his L?_

He began arguing with her, raising his voice. "Do I _look _like a threat to you, huh? Honey, you must be new. I was here everyday for months. I know this place by heart and have _fucked my boyfriend _in this pl-"

"Light-kun."

Light shut up. He knew that voice. He carefully turned around on his heels, mouth still open, and broke out into a fake smile at the sight of Watari. The old man didn't return the smile at Light and instead smiled at the bitchy receptionist, telling her Light was with him. She kissed her teeth at Light, to which the brunette shoved his middle finger up as his reply.

Watari escorted Light towards the lift. When they got to the third floor, two floors away from HQ, Watari pressed the emergency stop button.

"Er..?" Light said, his arms tensing. Watari turned to face him and stared down at the younger like he was a child. Light wasn't going to lie, he did feel slightly threatened by the older man.

In a second Light was pressed against the wall of the left. Pain shot down his back and travelled back up to his chest as Watari's elbow dug into it. Before Light could shout a loud _what the FUCK _the grey haired man leaned down to the brunette's ear, his whispered harsh.

"We have all misunderstood the situation."

Light furrowed his eyebrows and let his fists relax. Watari moved away and waited for Light to stand back up, to which he did. The old man sighed.

"Light-kun, I'm about to tell you something, something L wouldn't be able to explain without crying or shouting or being rude, so I've promised to do it for him. So listen, okay?"

The brunette swallowed and nodded.

"L.. Lawliet... He... It's all one big misunderstanding.."

Light felt his knees go weak as the story was explained to him. Guilt ate away at him.

He'd shouted at the one he loves, called him names and didn't even let him explain? He accused him of things that weren't true and spent days resenting him... All because he assumed instead of listened.

Light covered his mouth with a shaky hand and rubbed his eyes. Watari stared at the brunette in front of him, the boy's sadness and regret bringing him joy. He _needed _to regret it. He _needed _to realize the terrible mistake he had made.

Before Light could recover from what he had just been told, Watari started up the lift again. All of Light's confidence was just kicked out of him; he didn't know if he was ready to see L again. He watched the red number go up and up, the arrow blinking. He watched it, wishing for it to go slower, that they'd stay at 3 or 4 forever, that he'd never have to face his love.

But he needed to. Light's body ached with the feeling of not being touched, not being without his raven. He missed his smell, his smile, his hair. He missed his voice and clothes feet and his mess of cake everywhere.

Light missed L so, so much. He _needed to see him._

**LxL**

L stood by his chair, pacing, rubbing his temple. He had began to sweat so the fan was on full blast, making his hair and even more sexy and messy than it already was. Watari wanted to put some kind of product in it, but L had refused. He had to keep something the same about himself.

He looked at the clock: **14:59. **Watari would have told Light the truth now. L hoped his brunette would be feeling guilty. As much as imagining Light sad pained L, he hoped he would feel guilty and regretful. Light had crushed and ruined L for days. He had to feel something.

But most of him was just feeling excitement. He wanted to wrap his arms around Light and bury his face in his neck and tell him everything will be okay. He wanted to hear Light's voice, his laugh and feel his warmth. He wanted to see his cheeks light up a cute pink and the mention of anything sexual or cute or when L would tease him. He wanted to feel his breath against his neck and feel his cute plump lips against his own.

At the thought of this, L looked down at his feet and fiddled one finger over another. He felt his cheeks warm up.

Yes, he was excited.

**LxL**

The lift finally stopped. The red number was a five and Light's heart beat went through the roof as the doors began opening, a loud ping echoing around the room. Light kept his eyes to the marble floor, a pain in his heart as he realized he had missed this place more than he expected.

Watari stepped out and stood to the side, waiting for Light. The brunette slowly moved his head up and panicked for a second when he couldn't find his love.

And then his eyes fell upon the attracted raven hunched over in the middle of the room.

Light's cheeks heated up instantly, and he tried to look away to avoid eye contact, but he couldn't. He couldn't stop staring at L.

He eventually stepped out of the lift before the doors closed on him. Light stood up straight, tears beginning to boil, and stood still. L smiled and shook his head, walking closer to the younger detective.

"I..." Light began, his voice all over the place. He didn't trust himself to speak.

L stopped walking when he was a little less than a metre away. Light could smell him, and the urge to not break out crying and/or hug L to death was hard to fight. "I-I..." Light looked up from his feet. He didn't even realize he had looked away, but his cheeks were now bright red. He focused on his breathing like Misa had told him to; in, out, in, out. He closed his eyes for a few moments, planning to re open them and admit to his mistakes, say how sorry he is.

The second he opened his eyes L's arms were wrapped around his fragile, shaking body. L ran his hand down his love's back, tickling him in a comforting way. Light buried his head into L's clothes, breathing in and finally letting the tears tumble down. He shook his head. "I'm sorry, L. I'm so, so sorry" he croaked, squeezing tighter.

"I know you are, Light-kun," L said, also burying his face into his love's neck. "I know I know I know"

"I.." Light began saying, but trailed off. They stood there for a very long time, just enjoying each other's touch and presence. They eventually got tired because when Light moved his head back they were crouching on the floor. The marble flooring was cold on Light's knees, but he smiled at L, the first time he's smiled with his eyes in three whole days. His face was shiny with tears and was red.

"I..." Light began again, the smile on his face refusing to leave.

And simultaneously the boys said the same thing, with the same refusing to leave smile, in the same tone of voice. A thing they will forever hold each other to and will never stop believing.

After it was said, Light laughed and hit L's shoulder playfully. The raven kissed Light on the forehead, before asking, "Cake?"

.

.

"I... I love you Lawliet"

"I... I love you, Light-kun"

* * *

**Josefin's Note: Woah, hi! That was a long chapter, man. Almost 4000 words. God I'm tired. I wrote this in the space of two nights. I'm tired, and tomorrow is my last day before summer! Wah! **

**This is practically the last chapter. The next one will be a sort of... special. I've got the idea in my head and it should be posted soon and then I'll finally leave this story be! :)**

**I've actually moved accounts now. Due to certain things I've just decided to make a whole new account as who I truly am, not who I was three years ago. That account it called PrinceofHellBuddaii (I think? I'll link it in the next chapter).**

**Anyway, hope you enjoyed the cheesy ass ending and look forward to the special, yeah? ;3**


	17. Author's Note

Hello! Sorry this is just an author's note, but I thought I'd let you guys know instead of disappearing.

My laptop has given up on me. Its old and just broke. And my phone has broken, too. Its a sad time for us all, truzt me. Im updating this now to let you guys know that I will NOT be updating until I get a new phone or computer. -Im typing this on my (new) PSVita. Im hoping to get a new phone within the next week, so allis okay.

Thanks

\- Joss


	18. January 2016!

Oh, my god.

So uhh long time no see huh?

Alright, fine, I'm sorry. I just literallyhavent had any way to update. I have no laptop. Yeah, I have my PSVita -using that now- but its so awkward and blergh.

For christmas I should be getting a new laptop, so once I have that I will update all stories. It's been freaking months, I know.

For S&amp;TI I might post the epilogue via Wattpad... Like, type jt out on there and then copy an

d paste it? Its on my phone, so expect spelling mistakes, bhahhaha.

What's going to happen in the future with this account?

A restart. I will not be finishing TMH. MLMLML will be deleted. Along with MBBB. Bio will be reconstructed. S&amp;TI will not be deleted, but I will be rewriting the first few chapters until I am happy with them.

All of this should be done by Januar, though I'm shite with deadlines sooo I dont know.

Again, sorry. This will be the last update for TMH, and the second last for S&amp;TI.

\- Joss


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